At a Glance: Can I Change My Custody Order? 

Yes—but the legal standard depends on what type of change you are seeking.

Custody orders in Oklahoma are not permanent, but courts value stability for children. Some custody changes require a high legal burden, while others may be modified based solely on the child’s best interests. Understanding which standard applies to your case is critical before filing.

When Your Court Order No Longer Protects Your Child

Life changes, and sometimes, a court order signed years ago no longer reflects the reality of your child’s life. For fathers in Tulsa, the thought of reopening a custody battle is daunting. You may fear bias in the family court system or worry that “rocking the boat” could backfire.

At Dads.Law, we understand that you aren’t doing this for yourself—you are doing it because your child needs you. Whether your ex-spouse is planning to move away, is struggling with addiction, or is actively alienating you from your children, standing still is not an option. We are Tulsa’s premier fathers’ rights firm, dedicated to leveling the playing field in Oklahoma family courts.

Understanding the “Gibbons Standard” in Oklahoma

In Oklahoma, a judge will not change a custody order simply because one parent has changed their mind. The court values stability for the child above almost everything else.

If you are seeking to change the primary custodian (e.g., flipping custody from the mother to you), you likely must meet the strict legal standard established in the landmark case Gibbons v. Gibbons. Under Title 43 of the Oklahoma Statutes, you must prove two distinct elements:

  1. A Material Change: You must show that conditions have changed significantly since the last court order was signed. This change must directly affect the child’s welfare (mental, physical, or moral).
  2. Substantial Improvement: You must prove that moving the child to your custody would be substantially better for them, not just “as good.”

Modifying Joint Custody

If you currently share Joint Custody but the arrangement is no longer working (for example, the mother refuses to co-parent), the standard is slightly different. The court may terminate joint custody if it finds that the parents can no longer cooperate in the “Best Interests of the Child.”

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Common Grounds for Modification in Tulsa

While every case is unique, Oklahoma courts frequently hear Motions to Modify based on the following scenarios:

1. Relocation (The “75-Mile Rule”)

Under 43 O.S. § 112.3, a parent who intends to relocate the child’s principal residence more than 75 miles must provide written notice at least 60 days in advance. The non-moving parent has 30 days to file an objection. If the objection is timely, the move is generally paused until the court holds a hearing.

2. Child Endangerment

This is the most urgent reason to file. If your child is in immediate physical or emotional danger due to:

  • Drug or alcohol abuse in the mother’s home.
  • Physical abuse or neglect.
  • Exposure to dangerous individuals (e.g., a new abusive partner).

3. Parental Alienation

If the other parent is systematically attempting to destroy your relationship with your child—blocking calls, refusing visitation, or speaking negatively about you to the child—this may be grounds for a modification.

4. Failure to Follow the Parenting Plan

Chronic failure to abide by the visitation schedule or decision-making protocols creates instability for the child.

"Very professional and knowledgeable!

Advocated strongly for me but made sure the children’s best interests front and center. Did a great job navigating the emotional minefield of family court. Recommend Jeff Bacon for any family law needs you might have."

- Robert Hogg

Step-by-Step: How to Modify Custody in Tulsa County

Custody modification is a structured court process. In Tulsa County, most cases follow these steps:

Step 1: File the Motion to Modify
 We file a Motion to Modify Custody (or Parenting Time) and complete proper service. The legal standard depends on what you’re changing—a primary-custody change typically triggers the higher “Gibbons” burden, while joint custody can be modified/terminated based on best interests.

Step 2: Conduct Discovery
 We use formal discovery tools to turn allegations into proof—records, documents, and testimony.

Step 3: Mediation
 The court will often require the parties to attempt mediation before trial. If an agreement is reached, we can submit an agreed order and avoid trial.

Step 4: Trial on the Motion to Modify
 If mediation fails, the court conducts a trial/merits hearing. The judge applies the correct modification standard to the evidence and enters a new order that the judge views is consistent with the child’s best interests.

How Dads.Law Can Help

Fathers often feel like second-class citizens in family court. We exist to change that narrative.

  • Strategic Aggression: We don’t wait for the other side to dictate terms. We file proactively to protect your rights.
  • Local Expertise: We know the judges in the Tulsa County Family Division and understand what evidence they find persuasive.
  • Honest Assessment: We won’t sell you a dream. If your case for modification is weak, we will tell you. If it’s strong, we will fight relentlessly.

Protect Your Future as a Father

Your children only get one childhood. Do not let a dangerous environment or a hostile co-parent ruin it. If you believe a change in custody is necessary, you need a legal team that believes in fathers’ rights.

Contact Dads.Law today. Let’s discuss your case and ensure your voice is heard in the Tulsa County Courthouse.

Can I stop the mother from moving my child out of Tulsa?

Yes, but you must act fast. Under Oklahoma’s relocation statute, a custodial parent must give you 60 days’ notice before moving more than 75 miles. You have 30 days to file an objection. If you file on time, she cannot move the child until the court holds a hearing.

Does child support change if custody changes?

Possibly. Child support in Oklahoma is based on income and the number of overnights each parent has. If you gain primary custody or significantly increase your visitation time, your child support obligation should be recalculated or potentially terminated. Please note, you must continue paying child support until a court order is put in place terminating, changing, or pausing your obligation. If child support is reduced by the court, you will likely receive a credit for any overpayments made while your motion to modify was pending. 

How long does a modification case take?

A typical modification case in Tulsa can take anywhere from 3 to 12 months, depending on whether the parties can agree on terms. However, if there is an emergency, we can often get a temporary order in place within days.

What if my child wants to live with me?

In Oklahoma, a child does not decide custody or visitation. However, state law allows a child to express a preference, and the court may consider that preference as part of the custody or visitation decision.

Oklahoma law creates a rebuttable presumption that a child who is 12 years of age or older is mature enough to form an intelligent preference. If the court finds the child is of sufficient age and maturity, the judge must consider the child’s preference—but is not required to follow it.